Relieved

Well, He has done it again...God has relieved me of my job as the one who thinks she knows everything and can do it all if she just tries harder.
I am now accepting Grace, thank you Jesus.
Why do I forget?
Why does everyone else have a cross to bear that looks so much smaller and prettier than mine?
What do I want?
The joy of the LORD to be my strength.
and like a grape as hard as a marble, I shoot out across the horizon and try to avoid being pressed down and squeezed.
I recant-
a few blogs ago and i think that I may have deleted it later, I went on a rant about how much I hated the first woman's ministry event that our church put on. Because it was about acceptance and love and being a bride, blah, blah, blah--also insert beautiful artsy girl(not me)reading awesome poetry and I sat there jealous, because I can be beautiful, artsy and poetic, right?
I sat there and thought to myself,"I hope that someone else is getting this, because I don't need it." I was so blind to my own need for acceptance, which I am now accepting.
God is so gentle and thorough in His discipline process. Like a loving Father.
I am resting in His Grace, I am willing to be pressed.