Sunday, February 5, 2012


the state of being contented; satisfaction; ease of mind.

Today Maury and I met again with Pastor Jimmy and gave an update of where we are at. mainly our discussions revolve around our finances. I realized today that there are parts of me that have risen up to the surface like flies in the cream. Stuff that I freely share and assume is just the way I am, the way of the world one might say. When I am pressed about these attitudes I talk about them like they don't belong to me, like someone left them in a basket on my doorstep and I just decided to take them in because I had no choice. Lord, forgive me!
Contentment, that is what we are lacking. Here I am, all defensive about our position in life, wanting to prove to everyone that we are able to get it all together and quit being needy once and for all. I have been more concerned with what others may think because I am the one with the problem of thinking way too often about others and what I think of them!
Wretched woman that I am!
This is stuff I have had in me, God is doing a 'deep cleanse' and bringing this stuff up so that I, yes, I- can repent. I was missing the point.
I always think of contentment as a cop out. Like it gives my life a stamp of approval and a "well done" check mark in the todo box. That is not true,
it is possible to be content and also be the change, just ask Ghandi;
“Man’s happiness really lies in contentment.”
“Healthy discontent is the prelude to progress.”

I can be content and accept who I am, how I am and give God all the Glory He is worthy to receive. I can find the place between presumption and pride-it is called humility. Love is the only way to find it. God is so patient with me.
Then I can accept who you are, how you are and give God all the Glory for that too.
I can be passionate, purposeful and forgiving
Yet the truth remains;
apart from Christ-I can do nothing.
Jesus, I need you
I am called again to conviction, repentance and gratitude
It amazes me how blind I can be, to my own stuff of course.
God's mercy is amazing, His Grace abounds and Holy Holy Holy is the LORD almighty

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